I’m not usually the type of person who feels guilty for the things that happen to others. In fact, I believe that we make our own beds through the choices we make and we are responsible for them. However, when my mother was diagnosed with dementia and it became clear that she wouldn’t be able to live on her own for much longer, I was faced with a number of options when it came to elderly care.
I lived just around the corner from my mother. It was just one of those things that happened to work out that way, and it allowed me to spend some quality time with my father, when I was an adult, and it was great to do that before we lost him. I didn’t spend a lot of one on one time with my mother, though. We just weren’t as close as she was to my sister. So when my mother received the diagnosis, the first thing that my sister asked was when I would start checking in on our mother regularly.
I stepped back, told her I’d call her back, and began to think about that. Did I really want to be an elderly care provider to my mother? Did I really need that level of responsibility, considering that I had a lot of other things going on?
It wasn’t that I couldn’t, though, and I think that’s where the guilt began to surface, at least for me. I knew that I could, at least during the initial stages of the disease. I could easily have stopped by on a regular basis to check in on her and I could have told her that if she needed anything, she should just call me and I’d be there. But I didn’t want to.
I had read that family caregivers didn’t always make the best ones. My mother needed a level of care that I couldn’t provide. She deserved to have the type of elder care provider who had experience working with people suffering from dementia and other ailments. I didn’t know what to expect and I knew that I would lose my patience too quickly. I still felt guilty about not being willing to offer any assistance.
However, once we hired elderly care, I was quickly assured that this was the best decision. They told me that even if I had been willing to provide that level of care for my mother, it wouldn’t be the best care that she needed, so we had done the right thing. Sometimes, all you need to remove the guilt you’re feeling is surround yourself with truth. I did and I know it was the right decision.
The caregivers at Great Care are available to talk with you and your family about all of your senior care needs. Great Care is an elderly care agency providing quality and affordable senior care in Indianapolis, IN and the surrounding areas. Call (317) 595-9933 for more information.